Wednesday, December 16, 2015
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Friday, December 11, 2015
Thursday, December 10, 2015
Are you done yet? I haven't finished my breakfast yet and I've got to keep that hussy mare away from my boyfriend. Hear that, Kisses? My boyfriend! Now if you'll excuse me, I have important business that requires my attention.
Can I keep you just another minute? The photo--
Maybe if you were a little more competent, you could have gotten a better picture without taking up so much of my valuable time.
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
Did you get the shot? I want to look thoughtful and artsy but not like I take myself too seriously. It's not that I'm vain, I just want to look good for my humans.
Why is that so important to you?
I spent a while in a junkyard, tied to a trailer. I even had lice. It was pretty awful. I just really appreciate how far I've come. Now I live in a big field of grass with my adopted mom and brother. It's the life I would have dreamed of in that junkyard if I knew it even existed. [blows nose] Sorry, I just want the humans to know how happy and thankful I am.
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
I get a lot of pressure from my mom to pick a career path, but I don't see the point. She spent a lot of time training for a career as a racehorse, but that didn't last long. Now she's a stay-at-home-mom. I figure I'll keep my options open. Today I want to be a firefighter, maybe next week I'll want to be a teacher or a physicist. I'm only 2, I've got plenty of time to find my passion. Besides, I'm still figuring out this whole personal hygiene thing.
Monday, December 7, 2015
I was trying to look like Albert Einstein in that picture of him sticking his tongue out. Do you think I got it right?
Good. Didn't you say something about paying me with food?
(If you're unfamiliar with it, this is the picture he was emulating)
Friday, December 4, 2015
I am constantly exhausted from the amount of work I do.
You're ridden a lot?
What? No, of course not. I have a 2 year old son, and I've also adopted his best friend. Being a single parent with two kids is so much work. I'm constantly having to pin my ears, bare my teeth, and even threaten to kick when they roughhouse too much. And the food....
You prepare their food?
No, I just eat constantly and it's tiring.
Thursday, December 3, 2015
I used to be a breeding stallion, but then there was an.... incident. I think that's why I'm kind of an asshole, why I like to yank the lead rope away from people and run away... it's the trauma of having a huge part of my life ripped away.
You miss your old life?
Well, mostly I miss my balls.
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
It's so important to not judge others by their looks. I mean, look at me, I'm gorgeous, right?
You probably think my life is easy, that I just skate by on looks, but I have my own demons. I'm blind in one eye and I'm struggling with addiction.
Heroin? Coke? Meth?
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
It's frustrating, you know? Everyone looks at me and says "oh, how little and cute." But there's more to me than being little and cute. Like, maybe I'm a trained neurosurgeon, but no one thinks of that.
Are you a trained neurosurgeon?
That's not the point.